Happy Valentine’s Day!
One of my mom’s beautiful painted rocks, a Valentine’s Day gift for L <3
I know it’s a Tuesday and Valentine’s Day is kind of just a big commercial holiday but do you do anything exciting to celebrate? A romantic dinner date out or maybe a night spent at home, binging on too much chocolate? I’ll definitely be doing the latter!
Today’s post is a little non traditional for Valentine’s Day. It’s all about the strongest kind of love. The love a mother has for her children.
Do you ever have those moments as a mom when it just hits you, how much you love your kid? And how much that love makes you worry and fear for the worst? It hits you like a ton of bricks at the most random of times. I’m currently laying in bed at 8:15 at night almost in tears! This weekend something scary happened to us while we were outside playing. The reality of what could’ve happened didn’t hit me until now and I can’t stop thinking about it.
L drove me nuts all weekend long. He was sick, clingy, and needy. He shoved away the meals I made him and wanted to be held in my arms, but also doing his own thing. Hmmm… okay then.
I took him outside to play in the snow and get some fresh air during one of the storms. There was a very thin, fluffy coating on the ground as it had only just started snowing. It looked pretty and L was having fun. He was running around exploring, visiting his little pig friend, and watching the snow fall in amazement around him. I was thinking how I should take a photo of our foot prints next to each other, big and small, mom and baby.
We had been outside for 10 or so minutes when he reached to be picked up. I love when he does this and was excited he was ready to head back inside. It was absolutely freezing out! I grabbed him and started walking back towards our house when I felt my feet slip out from under me.
It was like a slow motion movie. My feet went forward and we fell back. It took only an instant to hit the ground but in those few seconds ALL I thought about was L. I needed to do everything in my power to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt when we hit the ground. How could I turn my body or hold him up so he wouldn’t hit the cold, hard asphalt? My own well being never crossed my mind, it was all about him.
We were both thankfully okay after the fall. L was scared and cried for a bit. I had a stiff neck and a headache. But now, all I think about are the “what if’s.” What if I had been knocked unconsciousness? Would L have sat by me and cried until someone noticed or I came to? Would he have walked towards the very busy main road like he loves to do and, god forbid, something horrible happen? What if he was the one to land first and hit his head?
It amazes me how once your a mom your whole life changes. Everything you think about is for your child. NOTHING in that moment was about protecting myself. It was only him. All I thought of was L. I was more scared for my child then myself.
I love being a mom to our little guy but I will never get used to the worry, doubt, and fear. It makes me want to squeeze him tight and never let go. When they say that once you become a mom you live with your heart outside your body, it is completely true. It is the strongest kind of love.
I hope you have a great day no matter what you do! Xox Annie