61 Comments

  1. Thank you for writing this! I’m staying home with my little guy this first year, but am likely going back to work part time when he turns one. I have very mixed feelings about it! I love being home with him, but also loved my job (teaching) and my coworkers. It makes me happy to hear such a positive experience from a working mom 🙂

  2. Hi Annie, thanks for sharing. I’m a stay at home parent and have days where I wish I could go back to work, but the finances didn’t make sense for us, daycare is so expensive. Your son and his grandma are lucky to have that special time together!! I know my mom wishes she could spend more time with my boys!

    • Annie

      Oh my gosh isn’t it crazy how expensive it is!? I’m not sure what we’d do if we were paying for day care each week. Thanks for reading!

  3. Breana

    I work at home so I’m kind of in both columns but I love having the option to work and make money while the kids are at school every day!

    • Annie

      That’s great! I work a few hours per week from home as well as blogging and it’s harder then I thought to get anything done while the kids are at home! !

  4. Annie, I love that you wrote this. It is brave to say, “Hey. I kind of like to work!” Especially when there is so much pressure to be super mom, super everything. And it is all kind of baloney. We are complex creatures who love to be a multitude of things. For me it was a mom, a nurturer, a creative, industrious, and sometimes lazy. So I was fortunate to be able to do all of it. Sometimes well and sometimes not so well. The secret I think is to be fully present in which ever one you are doing. When you and your sister were kids I sometimes spent to much time wishing I were doing which ever one I wasn’t. Sigh.

    Love you,
    Mom

  5. Laura Peterson

    oh i remember our days on the phone in the newborn stage. thank god we had eachother in the winter nights. and man is it so nice to have days off! Lilly is currently with her Grammy beacuse for some reason she decided to wake up every 2 hours last night! oh my god. <3 <3 your a great mommmyyyy

    • Annie

      Yay for family near by! And seriously, I was so happy to have friends to fall back on during those hard day! <3

  6. lungingthroughlife

    YES!! Seriously it’s funny because my husband will laugh at me the nights before work and say, “well.. tomorrow will be easier” because I’ll be at work. ha I like getting out of the house. It’s my chance to be me and not mom. Oh and swinging by a store or anything without lugging in the kiddo is SO nice! haha

  7. Watching working mums at the office always scared me. I’ve never really wanted to have to have a full time nanny but I didn’t want to give up my career either. Its a huge part of the reason I decided to leave and set up on my own so that I’d have the freedom to choose when and how often I worked. I’m hoping when its my time to become a parent, I’ll get to have the best of both worlds … here’s to dreaming 🙂

  8. Great read, seriously. I am recently out of work, and plan on staying home for about two months or so. I’m nervous to go back to work once she is here, but I think it will be good!

  9. mamafishsaves

    Really great perspective. So awesome that you were able to find peace in a situation that wasn’t exactly what you envisioned. I loved your coworkers line about being a woman first, wife second, mom third. We need to maintain our identities with kids AND be dedicated to our spouses.

    • Annie

      Thanks! She really taught me a lot by saying that. It was something I’d never thought of before and I’m glad to remember it and share now that I do have a child

  10. I struggled with owning it, but now I do- I love my career and I’m happy I work full time as a Mom. It’s hard and I feel guilty a lot, but I know that being my best and having a fulfilling career will set a good example for my son.

    • Annie

      I think guilt comes along with any choice we make as a mom but I’m so glad that overall, your happy!

  11. Wow Annie, this is great. I’m a working mom as well. At first it was a struggle balancing being a mom, wife and working. With time I got used to it since my kids are the reason why I work; I want them to have the best.

    • Annie

      Thanks so much! It is definitely a huge adjustment figuring out the balance as a working mom, or just being a mom in general. I’m so glad you’ve made it work well for you 🙂

  12. I stayed home with both of my kids for 3 months then resumed full time work. I loved it and never had regret. Each night we spent quality time over dinner, and playing for hours before they went to bed. We spent all weekend together. They never felt that i was not around. We each had things to share with each other since we were not with each other all day to experience the same things. We each choose what works best for us, and working does not take away from your ability to fully engage and raise your children.

    • Annie

      I agree that at night and on the weekends I appreciate our time so much more. It is nice to feel refreshed from a little time away.

  13. I’m a SAHM right now, looking for a job, and terrified that I’ll hate it! This post gives me hope though. I think I’m ready to be back out and about, just have to get used to the idea. Thank you for posting!!

    • Annie

      It is definitely scary but the good thing is, if you hate it you can always quit!! But I think you’ll learn to adjust over time and may appreciate the time to yourself! Glad it was helpful 🙂 Good luck!!

  14. Lisa

    Love this and your bosses words, “you’re a woman first.” There shouldn’t be any guilt or shame that comes from being a working mom or staying at home with your kids. Props to you for sharing your story on this controversial topic.

    • Annie

      Thanks so much for reading! She really opened my eyes when she said that. Before having kids I had no clue what it would be like, how could I, but I envisioned completely losing myself and my life to them. I’m glad to realize now you can have both!

  15. madrediem

    I completely agree with the sentiment that I’m a woman first and then a mom. I’ve always been a super ambitious person and working my way up through Corporate America was non-negotiable for me. For me, addressing my needs and following my dreams helps me to be a better mom and wife, but I think people who stay home or work part time are just as awesome. Whatever works for them!

  16. Some of us are just not cut out to stay at home. Not at all. I had 2months off work and i was sooo excited to get back.
    I totally understand the plethora of emotions – fear anxuety excitement all rolled into one hiant big mommy mess that is the first few days. But now a year plus, i would not change a thing!

    • Annie

      Yay I’m glad you were able to find your balance as well! I always was convinced I’d want to be a SAHM and nothing else, now I’m so happy with our arrangements!

  17. I love this… When I was a little girls I always wanted to be a stay at home mom. I got my wish. I’ve been a stay at home mom for eleven years. There are moments that it’s tough but I wouldn’t change it for the world. I started blogging so that when my youngest starts kindergarten in 4 years I’ll be able to have income yet still stay at home.

    • Annie

      That’s so great you were able to do what you always dreamt of and be a SAHM! It must be amazing to be home every day and still have your blog as an outlet and income for when they’ll be in school!

  18. It sounds like you have found a great balance in your life! I was happy when I worked…I am happy staying home now…you just have to make it work 🙂

    • Annie

      Yay, glad you have found your perfect balance too! Staying home definitely sounds fun and I think I’d love it if we were in the position to as well!

  19. I love that you were able to find a balance! I am worried I will have to start working full time before I am ready to leave my kiddos once the second one comes. For now I am enjoying being able to take Lincoln to work with me since I am a nanny!
    You are such a strong momma!

    • Annie

      That’s great you can take your son with you to work! You’ll find the right balance once you need to 🙂

  20. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom (at least until my daughter was school-age), but that’s not how the cookie crumbled for me. I’m a single mom who works full-time, and I do enjoy the fact that I’m able to support my daughter and I by working. I also think that I’m showing my daughter the value of hard work!

    • Annie

      Good for you! You are a strong mama, definitely teaching your daughter so many life lessons!

  21. I honestly don’t know how I’d stay sane if I DIDN’T work. I catch a lot of comments for it (especially here in Utah) but honestly, work is my ME time. I love it, and I absolutely refuse to go without it

  22. I am just about to go back to work part time and I am absolutely dreading it. I have been very fortunate with my time on Maternity Leave and am really not looking forward to it ending. I am sure that once we get into a routine that I will find a new balance and love of being back at work but until then I will focus on the time I get to spend at home with my little one. I am so happy that you have found a great balance that is right for you and your family.

    • Annie

      It’s a super hard transition period and I certainly have days I wish I were home more but we do make it work and it just becomes a new normal. Enjoy all the snuggles you can right now and know that it will get easier once you go back!

  23. This is a great read for any of those moms out there unsure of going back to work because they feel guilty. I am surrounded by friends who do the mom thing every which way. Full-time work, part-time, work from home, and work at home, as I prefer to call the SAHM. Each has made the decision to do what they do based on the family as a whole’s needs first, then what they need. I have been at home with my children for over 8 years, I am perfectly content as far as my identity, and only recently have started working from home also for financial reasons. I know some go stir crazy being at home. It doesn’t bother me at all. I prefer this. I just need to be let out of the cage periodically. 🙂

  24. I love this post! I too, am a working mom, and while it is hard, I ultimately would not have it any other way. It is nice being a teacher, since I get out early and have lots of time with my little guy. My son is in daycare, and I actually love daycare for kids. Besides the sickness (never-ending, but ultimately good for kids), it’s fantastic. My mom stayed home with me, and I was a SUPER shy and timid kid. Because of that, I wanted to make sure my son was exposed to lots of people and was more outgoing. And boy, is he ever!! It warms my heart to see him with all of his little friends, laughing and playing every day.
    Thanks for a great post!

    • Annie

      I SO agree on the daycare thing! If it weren’t so expensive our son would already be in it but right now we are taking advantage of the free care we have. But both my husband and I were home with our moms until preschool and are both a bit more timid and shy as well. I love how daycare exposes kids to so many new things, people, arts and crafts, education… so many benefits! Glad you’ve made it work for you!

    • Annie

      I SO hear you! I like earning my money so I don’t feel guilty when I do a little (too much) shopping or treat myself to a mani/pedi!

  25. livewellplaytogether

    I enjoyed this post! I went back to work when our son turned 12 weeks old, and decided to stay home full time after working for 4 months for various reasons. That said, I really enjoyed my time at work and am thankful to have had the experience. I love being a stay at home mom and am thankful everyday for the opportunity, but also totally get why you might enjoy working as well. To be honest, neither is as easy or glamorous as social media would have us believe. It is wonderful that you have family close by that can take care of your little one when you are working – I’m sure that makes it so much better knowing that he is with someone else who loves him!

    • Annie

      Your so right about both roles, working outside the home and staying home they are both hard in their own right. Glad you are able to be home with your little guy!

  26. It’s so true. Whether you’re a stay at home mom, working multiple jobs, or anything in between, you’re doing the right thing for your family! The first few months back at work were a huge struggle for me. I’m glad you got back into a good schedule!

    • Annie

      The first few were definitely the hardest but now we all know our routine. I was home for a week straight last month and my son was totally confused! Thanks for reading 🙂

  27. Luckily I am able to stay home with my son. This summer I am going back to school with my mom watching him. It is going to be so hard not seeing him.

    • Annie

      It is hard! But so nice he’ll be with family. It took me a while to adjust but I really do love the balance we have now, seeing how happy he is when he sees my MIL, and getting some time to myself. I hope it isn’t too hard for you!! Good luck 🙂

  28. In my head I’ve dreamt about being a SAHM, but in reality as much as I love my kids…I’m not sure I’m cut out for it. Financially speaking I HAVE to work anyway. We lucked out and have an amazing caregiver that comes into our home to watch the kids.

    • Annie

      Having a caregiver you trust is huge!! So nice you found one! And I agree, I really thought I’d want to be a SAHM but I think I’d be really restless and miss my job.

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