From the time I was a baby my mom kept a series of journals that detailed the littlest things, from the first time I found my hands to the crazy things my older sister did. I never knew about these journals until a few years back while I was pregnant with L and she left a few pages for me to read.
The journal detailed her struggles getting pregnant with me and her fight to be one of the first women to deliver VBAC, vaginal birth after cesarian. I could feel my parents love oozing out of those pages and I thought it was such a great idea to keep journals once I had L. I started writing when he was born, documenting his birth story, my favorite moments, the hardest days, and just about everything else.
Since he’s become more mobile the journal entries are coming less and less but I hope one day he enjoys reading them as much as I did. Or, god forbid something horrible ever happened to me, he’ll know just how much I love him! And, I also just love reading back and seeing what was going on at different stages in his life. So today, I am sharing his 18 month entry with you!
Dear L: 18 Months of Loving & Laughing
Well, it’s official. You are one and a half years old! That sounds so much bigger to me then when I say 18 months. You are closer to two then you are to one and you sure act it with your almost daily tantrums and stubborn attitude. I’d say I hate your stubbornness but I’d be lying. It’s one trait that I think you most certainly get from me and while it can get you into a lot of trouble, that stubbornness is also what has gotten me to where I am today. I have always known what I want and when I set my mind to it I can achieve anything. I know you have that in you as well!
You still aren’t talking yet and we attribute that to the majority of your tantrums. You get so frustrated trying to let us know what you want that you wind up throwing yourself on the ground, kicking and screaming for a few minutes until you work your way out of it. Dad and I have gotten into good practice of letting you handle it and it seems to be working! It isn’t easy letting you scream and cry on the ground but I know it’s best for you to learn we won’t give in to every cry.
You started Early Intervention recently and so far we are loving it. The girl that comes to see you is so so nice and you are adjusting to her well. They are teaching us new words in sign language like more, open, and all done, and we’re hoping soon you’ll start using them! Instead, you just grunt and try to point at what you want, which usually is not very helpful! But almost anytime you want something it’s to get outside, to eat, or because a toy is stuck somewhere. Life will be so much easier once you can talk but you’ll get there in your own time.
Your favorite toys right now are balls. The big, huge plastic ones from Target that are twice your size. You have about 5 of all different sizes and you love gathering each and every one in your arms. It’s pretty hilarious! You also love going outside and always have. Not necessarily the playground, you get bored with that pretty quickly, but anywhere you can run, stop to check out some bright flowers, or inspect a leaf pile. Often, we take you to run through the cemetery across the street which seems odd but its perfect; quiet and safe!
Lately, you’ve started to give hugs and kisses non stop to dad and I. We are completely obsessed with it and want more every time! Last night you couldn’t stop cuddling up to dad, showing him just how much you love him. Sometimes, I think his feelings get hurt because you “need” me more but he is the fun one. You don’t laugh for me like you do for him and it hurts knowing that he’s the fun goofy guy and I’m just here to fix things but I’m so glad you have that relationship.
And speaking of your laugh, it is the BEST SOUND EVER. Seriously, never stop laughing. It keeps you young, healthy, and happy. It brings so much joy and light to this world. You smile with your eyes and are the gentlest soul I’ve ever met. Your love for us and all the animals melts my heart. You love your pets, smiling whenever you see them and giving them the softest hugs. I truly believe that you are just going to be the kindest, smartest little person ever. And I can’t wait to watch you grow more!
I love you to the moon and back L. I can’t wait for the next 18 months, 18 years, and more! Xoxo